Goals

I never want the smile to leave your face
Your smile makes even the darkest nights bright.
All i want in life is,to see you happy
You know my goals
I hope your okay with them
Just know that no matter how busy my life gets while trying to achive these goals i will always have endless amounts of time for you.
I hope it doesnt bother you that you are my life
Because you saved mine
I want to be around you 24/7
Its hard to explain
I mean your my best friend
I would travel to the ends of the earth just for your hugs and to kiss your forehead
We're bonnie and clyde
The scare pair
We were inseparable when we were teenagers and nothings changed about that
We were apart for a while...but i thought about you everyday
I cried often because i missed you
You held on to a piece of me and when i was broken we reunited and repaired me
If you look in the dictionary for the words best friend, partner in crime, lifesaver and soul mate you would notice they all have the same thing in common...you
Its crazy how one person can make someone want to live and do amazing things and that is what you do to me
You truly are the most amazing person in my life and i hope you will keep me forever
Im going to do everthing in my powers to make your life happy and the best it can possibly be.
Trust me you will be able to be gay every day soon hah
I love you to the moon and back

7.17.17

Its my birthday
Just another day in the week
But for some reason this one is special
Not for the reason that im another year older
But the fact that im with you
Most want to be in a disorderly drunken haze
Not me
A state of complete happiness is where i want to be
Sitting along side the pool, grilling food and watching mini do cannon balls until his heart is content is where i want to be.
The pure joy that you bring into my life has been the greatest i could have ever asked for.  I was stupid to wait so long to come back home but i that the distance apart made this all so much more magical. 
I could go on and on and on about how amazing you are and how you make me feel. But i got a beautiful evening to enjoy with two of the most beautiful people in the entire world...

Sadomasochistic Son of God

People pray to a god that does not answer
They betray their fellow man for that idol
Religion dismembers society just as much as racial prejudice
It strips those who have "faith" of what little bit of individuality that is left in their being
They follow
They turn ones beliefs into a way of life
Surrendering their own thoughts and self to a unknow entity
It gives some a glimmer a hope
Yet most get brain washed into "Christianity critics"
You wake up sunday morning
Put on your best outfit to listen to a "caped crusader"
The chosen one
The high and mighty to force feed you shit and expect you to pay for it
Where does your money go to?
My guess would be a liquor store followed by a trip to Cringe City
Testicular mutilation and shameful seduction fuel that man you trust every sunday morning to spread the good word
With his dick stapled shut and his ass hole filled with spiked marbles
He gives you words to live by
Want to meet up with him?
He can tell you how wrong your life is
He can tall you that hell is waiting for you just five minutes before he goes to pay to be sexually mutilated
What happened
What the fuck went wrong?
Did father MacGee touch you and teach you the art of praying on your knees?
The world may never know
All i know is that thinking for yourself will get you further in life than living by the hypocritical laws of religion
As far as you go preacher man,
I hope you enjoy your sadomasochistic ways
I hope the gerbal in your anus brings you joy and the hypodermic needles in your skin doesnt leave a mark... Dont forget the show must go on
Rain or shine...they need your blasphemy

7-10-17 aquatic acquaintances

You have a new friend
Hand in hand
You leap
Splashing and laughing
You are beautiful
Your mom is worried sick
With every time you hold your breath
Its understandable
Because you are her life
She will worry about you until she gone from this world
Yet you will always feel her worry even when she isnt with you
You should see her face
She is glowing tonight
She is absolutely beautiful underneath these stars
Her smile shares a bright light to fill even the darkest voids
She knows everything about you
She will guide you in life
Pay attention
She will give you the knowledge you need
I can only hope you grow up to be like her
You will do amazing things
I really cant wait to watch you grow up
And be in your life forever
I will show you this someday and tell you about these nights that i will never forget

Strange

We time traveled
Destination unknown
Laughter and love fuled this journey
There was no high point on this trip
No main attraction
Why
Because the whole time i was with you it was pure bliss
I could have never asked for anything more
There was one low point
I had to say goodnight
I had to leave you
Its always the worst part
I guess because I know what you are going through
See me and you are so alike its ridiculous
We are fuled by passion
Love
Creativity
When those around us start ridiculing our every move it makes it hard to survive
Trust me i know
When the ones around you attempt to change you or strip your fuel away it becomes unbearable
The self worth becomes obsolete
The pain over takes the mind and causes rash decisions
The whole trip i watched you glow
The fireworks in your beautiful eyes were bigger than the 4th of july
When it came time to go home
I watched a change
A change that i know all too well
The smiles went away
The laughter stopped
The fireworks in your eyes became dimmer and dimmer as we arrived
The magic from the day had been tucked away for fear it would escape
I stayed with you as long as i could
Honestly i wish i didnt have to leave you
I wish i could just hold you close forever
Protect you from the ones that try to unravel your happiness
Ever felt like things are out of your control?
Its hard
Its hard for me not to give up it all so you can have it all
It kills me because on top of
jaw infections
Being sick
Being a mom
And so much more
You have to come home to this
The shit that makes life almost unbearable
You know how hard it is to keep my composure?
Keep my mouth shut
Be a nurturerer
Rather than A protector
How hard it is to say good bye on nights like these
I though about just crashing on a bench around your complex just to make sure i was there for you
To protect you from the narrow minded fool that co habitates with you
To tell you that everything will be fine as i run my fingers through your hair. 
What a way to end the most beautiful day ever
But i will be here for you
Thick and thin
Hell or high waters
I will be here
I truly love you and will be here until the end if time.

Ending

When you love someone deeply
You do anything in your power to see them smile
To make sure they dont feel the same hurt you have felt
You do everything in your power to pick them up
To protect them and their loved ones
See its really hard to explain how the sense of helplessness makes you feel when you cant give your everything to them
Just to see them succeed
Just to see them happy
To make sure they feel loved
Just know that at any moment
I would give up everything i have
I would give myself up to make sure you never go without
I will protect you as much as i can until i have nothing left
See, I love you
When you love someone you do what it takes
I will never give up on you
If you crash...I crash with you
Til the end...
I will Love you and tell you everything will be okay

Bridges break

Beast, you amuse me
You feel your words are lassos that will caputre me and bring me back into your stranglehold
WRONG
Your words amuse me
They are funnier than an Archies comic strip out of the sunday paper
See, i feel that i am a pretty intelligent person
Do i have proper grammer...NO
Do I spell things correctly...Fuck No
Can i withold a intellectual conversation without hesitation...Absolutely
See i see through your words like a one way mirror
You dont know that i can smell the bullshit spewing out of your mouth
Its stronger than any bullshit i have ever smelled before.
I tried for 6 years to change
To bite the bullet and be a normal memer of society that was trapped in a maggot infested relationship
I tried to be the "Big Man"
To tackle everything just to make things tolerable
You may say im crazy
Your Probably right
If crazy is sticking around in a situation that mafe you hate life to the point you want to blow your mug all over the fucking wall then yeah im crazy
If crazy is getting called a cheater on the regular but, know that i havent cheated and putting up with it..,then yeah im crazy
If attempting to make things work even though i got told to "get the fuck out" on a bi weekly basis and then you getting mad when i start to pack is crazy then yep thats me
See for six years i took your bullshit
Your every fuckin sucker punch you could throw at me...i blew it off
Did i retaliate..yeah sometimes
Verbal self defense i like to think
See there comes a point when a bridge begins to give way due to the weight of the world
My bridge gave way
I played your game
Being as helpful, nice and loving as i could
I broke
I made moves
I dropped the weight
Now it is time to reconstruct my bridge
You arent allowed on my bridge anymore
The weight is too much for structure to handle
The nights of feeling no selfworth are over
Dead and gone
The days of questioning my every move are finished
I dont want you
You broke my bridge and on the way down you made sure to rip it to shreds
But guess what
I can build it back
Stronger
Its a private bridge
And you are on the do not cross list