Destination unknown

I feel lost
Not lost in the way of i hate life, because quite honestly i love life right now.  Lost as in where do i go next.  I have always been a grinder, busting my ass for the man on a daily basis for what they call a paycheck.  I have been provided with a strange opportunity.  Now before i go into this, i want to say that i dont think of myself as any different than any other fuck on the streets.  So i have a bad fucking hip... I got the bull shit low budget pimp walk to prove it.  Its not my pride and joy or my free ride or whatever the fuck...a crutch as you would say.  So since i was four years old i have been dealing with this bullshit.  Its normal to me.  What i call normal would have most of you bastards on your knees praying to whatever just to end it.  But its normal to me.  Yeah i got days where its rough, i usually kick it into overdrive at that point.  I mean fuck it why not.  They give me a little bit of "time" left on this old bitch but i think i can stretch it a little more...prove em' wrong.  So once i am out of time on this one theennn....ill get a new one. It will last me an estimated 5 years...  Then ill get another new one...that will buy me another roughly 5 years.  So what does thah put me at?  Say i get a good solid 2 years out of the one i have...39!  So by fuckin 39 years old give or take a year...Ill be in a fuckin wheel chair.  The fuck i will... Ill stretch it as far as i can i guess... But what do i do? What do i do with my time.  What do i do about my passion to live... To want to do great things, To see places, To just want to grab life as hard as i can and never stop.  How do i figure this out?  Where go from here.  I have people in my life now that i wont give up..and some i would pay to forget... But what do i do with my life.  I am a day to day kind of guy usually...but i still need a endgame...  Something to shoot for.  I have a bunch of mini goals...but how to i find the one one.  How do i find the thing i want to fuckin do so that i can be remembered, live a decent life, enjoy it and not dread waking up.  Dont get me wrong...trust me i wake up happy as a fat kid and wonkas fuckin chocolate factory...  Hiw do,i find that one thing and run with it.  was i meant to do that? Or was i meant to just do a shit load of stuf.  I dont know, but this shit makes my brain hurt just thinking about it all... What do i do.... A wise and beautiful woman once said... "Fuck it, I'll figure it out"  until then.. Ill keep trucking forward as hard and as fast as i can...

Destination...who the fuck knows...